Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
