He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
