Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
Randomize
