We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Randomize
