You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
