Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
