You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
