somebody snuck up and got me drunk
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
