Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
