I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
Randomize
