Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
I'm just saying, no one has ever made me laugh or cum as hard as you do. Sometimes at the same time which I didn't know was possible. Is there even a word for that besides love?
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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