I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
