Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
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