But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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