I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
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