Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
Randomize
