Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
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