Capitaan dildo arrescate!
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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