why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
No stitches, just platelets and will power
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Randomize
