Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
