you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
