I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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