Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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