Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Hi Jessica this is Jessica and I am texting you and were taking lime shots and it's fantastic and I broke your elbow and I love you xo
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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