i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
