IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
