Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
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