My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
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