so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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