I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
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