every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
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