i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
