We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Boobs speak an international language.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
Randomize
