that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
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