i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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