Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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