Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
