I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Randomize
