Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
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