I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Yeah I had this grand plan to bring flaming dr pepper shots to some girls and say "these shots are hot, but not as hot as you" but instead I lit the bar on fire
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
