she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
