I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Randomize
