I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
Randomize
