I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
Randomize