so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Randomize
