Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
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