your thong is hanging out like whoa
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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