Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
