spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
