He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
